TAROT IN WONDERLAND

INTRODUCTION TO TAROT IN WONDERLAND

THE STORY OF ALICE IN WONDERLAND IS AN UNDERSTANDING OF SELF IDENTITY. SOME VIEW IT AS A METAPHOR FOR GROWING UP. THE STORY CAN LEAD INTO MANY INTERPRETATIONS OF THE SELF BUT I CHOOSE TO DRAW EIGHT CARDS AND PROVIDE AN EXPLANATION OF EACH CARDS MEANING AND HOW I RELATE TO ITS MESSAGE AND WHAT I'VE LEARNED OF MYSELF. SOMETIMES AS PEOPLE WE ACT OUT AND SOMETIMES WE DO THINGS WE SHOULDN'T DO AND HURT OURSELVES AND OTHERS. MANY OF OUR BEHAVIORS COULD BE PREVENTED IF THE SOCIETY WE LIVE IN WASN'T SO DAMAGING TO THE HUMAN SOUL. THE MATERIAL WORLD IS A LIE, ITS A SET UP TO WATCH US FALL, BUT IF YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THE EXPLANATIONS I PROVIDE WILL HELP YOU TO REFLECT YOUR OWN CHOICES IN LIFE AND IN RETURN LEARN HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF FIRST AS A YOUNG PERSON, HOPEFULLY THIS MESSAGE WILL PREVENT UNFORTUNATE CIRCUMSTANCES FROM HAPPENING TO YOU AND IN RETURN YOU WILL MAKE WISER CHOICES IN YOUR OWN LIFE. OFCOURSE YOU WILL MAKE MISTAKES EVERYONE DOES AND ITS IMPORTANT TO LEARN FROM HUMAN ERROR, BUT IF YOU CAN UNDERSTAND CERTAIN ASPECTS OF LIFE, OF SOCIETY AND WHAT YOUR LIFE MEANS TO YOU, YOUR ETHICS, YOUR HUMAN VALUE, YOUR SELF RESPECT AND RESPECT FOR PEOPLE AROUND YOU, CONSCIOUSNESS. THIS MIGHT HELP YOU OR ANYONE FROM POSSIBLE SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, STARVING YOURSELF, CUTTING YOURSELF, DRUG ADDICTION OR WANTING TO HURT SOMEONE ELSE. THIS WILL BE THE STARTING POINT OF YOUR REALIZATION AND HUMAN WORTH.

YOUR SELF WORTH AT A YOUNG AGE IS VITAL TO LIVE A BETTER LIFE AS YOU GROW OLDER, GROW UP AND LEARN TO COPE WHEN HORRIBLE SITUATIONS GO WRONG. THE MOST HIGHLY INSECURE PEOPLE ARE THE ONES WHO COMPLAIN THE MOST AND WILL BRAG OF HOW THEY PLAY LIFE SAFE. I DONT AGREE WITH THIS MINDSET BECAUSE YOU WILL NEVER GROW UP OR LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES IF YOU THINK THIS WAY. ITS THEIR FEAR SURFACING IS THE REASON FOR THIS MINDSET. ITS DIFFICULT TO EVALUATE A SITUATION AND KNOW THE RIGHT DECISION TO MAKE BECAUSE WHEN WE ARE YOUNG WE DON'T KNOW ENOUGH AND HAVE NO VOICE BUT LOOK AROUND AND ASK YOURSELF WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY AND WHY ARE THESE CORPORATIONS OUT TO GET US? MANY PEOPLE WILL ARGUE THAT IS NOT TRUE BECAUSE OF THE MEDIA INFORMING US. NO THE MEDIA IS BOUGHT AND CONTROLLED LIKE A COMMON WHORE AND MISLEADS US. THOSE NEWS REPORTERS DONT REPORT THE TRUTH THEY ARE TOLD WHAT TO SAY AT ALL TIMES, SO THE PUBLIC IS MISLEAD TO BELIEVING THE LIES. IT WORKS, THIS IS WHY ITS CRITICAL TO BE A CRITICAL THINKER. PEOPLE LIE ALL TIME EVERYDAY WITHIN FAMILIES AND JOBS, THEY ARE NEVER HONEST WITH THEMSELVES OR THE PEOPLE THEY LIVE WITH. ACTIONS ALWAYS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. I REALIZE THERE ARE THOSE HUMANS WHO ARE CLUELESS AND MIMICK OTHER WORDS AND ACTIONS FROM THOSE PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT. AVOID BEING ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH, THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX.

LET ME TELL YOU A STORY OF A YOUNG GIRL WHO MEETS A YOUNG MAN THAT HAS MONEY. HOW HE EARNED HIS MONEY DOESN'T MATTER. AS SHE SHARED WITH HIM ABOUT HER UPBRINGING, HE CRITIZED HER AND EXPRESSED SHE LIVED IN THE GHETTO, SHE WAS HURT DEEPLY. IT'S ONLY HIS PERCEPTION BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T LIVE ON SAME SIDE OF TOWN HE DID. PEOPLE ARE JUDGED ACCORDING TO THEIR CHARACTER OF WHERE THEY LIVE, HOW MUCH MONEY THEY HAVE AND THEIR FAMILY BACKGROUND. NONE OF THIS HAS ANTYHING TO DO WITH INTEGRITY OR SELF WORTH OR WHO SHE IS AS A WOMAN. HIS IGNORANCE OF MEASURING PEOPLE AND THE WORLD HE LIVES IS GHETTO MENTALITY WITH NO TRUE UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT MATTERS MOST BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE OR WHAT SHOULD MATTER BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN. THIS STORY GAVE A MESSAGE HE IS NOT INTERESTED IN WHO SHE ACTUALLY IS. IGNORANCE COMES IN ALL FORMS ESPECIALLY WITH THOSE WHO HAVE MONEY. THEY HAVE LEARNED NOTHING OF WHO THEY ARE, BECAUSE THEY MEASURE WHAT THEY THINK IS GOOD TO HOW MUCH MONEY THEY HAVE. WHAT I QUESTIONED IS HIS INTENTIONS OF HER? ANOTHER EXAMPLE IS I KNEW OF A MAN WHO HAD ADHD HE ONCE SAID TO ME HE DESIRED A LOVING RELATIONSHIP WITH A WOMAN HE COULD BE INSYNC WITH, YET HE MADE NO ATTEMTPT TO KNOW A WOMAN INTERNALLY OR EMOTIONALLY BECAUSE HE ALLOWED HIS PHYSICAL DRIVES TO DOMINATE HIS THINKING. AGAIN IMMATURITY AND LACK OF IDENTITY. HE IS NOT MAKING AN EEFORT TO PUT WHAT HE WANTS FIRST, SO THEREFORE HE DOESN'T DESERVE ANY WOMAN. IF PEOPLE TALK ABOUT WHAT THEY WANT IN LIFE AND DO NOTHING TO WORK FOR IT, THEN THEY DON'T DESERVE ANY OF IT. MOST PEOPLE JUST DEMAND OR EXPECT INSTANT GRATIFICATON WIHTOUT THE SACRIFICE. REAL LOVE DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT.

WHAT I HAVE DONE IS PULL EIGHT CARDS FROM THE DECK OF WONDERLAND IN TAROT WHICH IS BASED ON THE STORY "ALICE IN WONDERLAND" I ENJOY FAIRYTALES AS THEY INCLUDE HIDDEN MESSAGES ALL OF US CAN LEARN FROM WITH SELF REFLECTION. I WILL SHARE WITH YOU INFORMATION OF SITUATIONS I REFLECTED ON AND REALIZED HOW IT IMPACTED MY LIFE. ALL HUMANS STRUGGLE INSIDE WITH OUR DESIRES, OUR FEARS, OUR MENTAL ANGUISH BUT SOCIETY BEING WHAT IT IS KEEPS US REPRESSING OUR TRUE AUTHENTIC SELF. I'VE CRAWLED OUT OF THE RABBIT HOLE TO SEE THE SUN AND REFLECT WHO I AM. I AM SHARING THIS SO IT GETS YOU TO THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF, ABOUT YOUR LIFE AND WHAT TRULY MATTERS BECAUSE ITS NOT WEALTH OR SOCIAL MEDIA OR FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES THAT MATTER, IT ONLY APPEARS AS IT DOES AND ALL OF IT IS TEMPORARY. LIVING A GOOD LIFE WITH A STRONG MIND AND KNOWING YOUR VALUE AS A HUMAN BEING HAS VALUE. SO HERE WE GO MAY THIS READING OF MY PERSONAL TAROT PROVIDE YOU INFLUENCE OF WHAT TO LOOK OUT FOR IN BEHAVIORS, VERBAL CONVERSATIONS AND PATTERNS IN LIFE.

THE SUN CARD - THE SUN IS A CELEBRATION OF THE SELF AND THE SUCCESS OF BEING FULLY AND COMPLETELY YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF. THE WEIRD LESSON IS IF WE RELEASE OUR FEARS, BEING OURSELVES IS THE EASIEST THING IN THE WORLD. I'VE COME INTO REALSING MY FEARS NOW AT THE AGE OF 57. AS I LOOKED AT MYSELF FROM A PHOTO, SEVERAL YEARS AGO, I SOON REALIZED I DIDN'T APPEAR AS CONFIDENT AND I HAD TO QUESTION WHY? ONCE I BEGAN TO UNDERSTAND A FEW THINGS ABOUT MYSELF IS WHEN I KNEW ITS TIME TO LET IT GO. HOLDING ON TO CERTAIN EMOTIONS IS EGO AND FALSE PRIDE. ITS THE BEAUTY OF GETTING OLDER AND REALIZING I DON'T CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF ME BECAUSE IF MY ENERGY BOTHERS THEM, THEN ITS THEY WHO NEED TO TAKE A LOOK AT THEMSELF. MOST PEOPLE HAVE TRIED HARD TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD FOR WHO I AM ALL MY LIFE, BECAUSE OF THEIR OWN INSECURITIES BUT ITS NOT ME AS MUCH AS IT IS THEM. OFCOURSE I COULD USE SOME REFINING THAT IS TRUE FOR ALL OF US, HOWEVER THIS IS MY PATH, ITS MY LIFE (LIKE ALICE) AND I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MAKING IT THE BEST I CAN OF BEING WHO I AM AND NOTHING LESS. SO MANY PEOPLE WORK HARD TRYING TO EARN RECOGNITION FOR A FALSE SELF AT THE EXPENSE OF THEIR AUTHENITIC SELF. I BELIEVE IN THE END YOU WILL ONLY END UP HATING AND HURTING YOURSELF FROM THE LIES YOU TELL YOURSELF. NOW IT'S TIME TO SEE THE TRUTH. PEOPLE AND POLITICS ARE DAMAGING THE WORLD WE LIVE IN WITH SOCIAL MEDIA AND A FALSE PRETENSE OF THOSE WHO PORTRAY A FALSE NARRATIVE OF WHO THEY THINK THEY SHOULD BE. I'VE RELEASED MANY OF MY FEARS BUT EVERYDAY ITS A WORKING PROGRESS AND I CAN SEE MYSELF CLEARLY OF WHO I AM WITH A GREATER ENERGY OF SELF LOVE. I NEED NO APPROVAL AND EITHER DO YOU. WHEN YOU FEEL THE SUN YOU WILL FEEL JOY, SUCCESS AND OPTIMISM FROM WITHIN. FIRST RECOGNIZE YOUR FEARS AND WORK AT RELASING THEM ONE BY ONE. THOSE FEARS CAN HIDE DEEP WITHIN YOU AND SOMETIMES HAVE A CONNECTION TO OTHERS THAT ARE NEGATIVE. HAVE COURAGE AND BE WILLING TO CREATE THE CHANGE THAT IS NEEDED FROM WITHIN TO CUT THE NEGATIVE MEMORIES LOOSE SO YOU CAN FEEL THE SUN UPON YOUR FACE AND WITHIN YOUR SOUL.

TWO OF CUPS CARD - DURING A MAD TEA PARTY THE HATTER AND THE HARE BICKER LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE. THE TEA PARTY IS AT THE MARCH HARES HOME AND THE HATTER IS UNDER PUNISHMENT BY TIME FROM THE QUEEN AND FOR HATTER ITS ALWAYS TEA TIME (6:00 P.M). THESE TWO ARE LIKE MESSANGERS "ONE TO COME AND ONE TO GO" HOW THESE TWO CAN SURVIVE A RELATIONSHIP IN WONDERLAND WE DON'T KNOW. THIS CARD MARKS THE BEGINNING OF A POTIENTAL INTENSE AND LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP WHICH COULD CONSIST OF ANY TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP NOT JUST ROMANTIC. KEEP IN MIND THE WORD IS "POTIENTAL" THAT IS THE MESSAGE IT DOESN'T MEAN IT WILL BLOSSOM. IF YOU'VE EVER MET SOMEONE AND YOU CLICKED RIGHT OFF YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THE CARD, BUT SOMETIMES THAT CLICK IS AN ILLUSION AND NOT BASED IN REALITY BECAUSE WE ARE CLICKING WITH ONLY EMOTIONS AND NOT USING LOGIC FROM PAST EXPERIENCES. ITS ONLY UNTIL MY EYES WERE WIDE OPEN FROM A CRUDE REMARK ATTACKING ME IS WHEN I TURNED INTO THE DEVIL OF TIME. BEING A CAPRICORN AND LINKED TO SATURN MY ENERGY TURNED FIERCE WITH COLD, SHARP ATTACKS AT THIS LOSER WHO WAS DESPERATELY SEEKING LOVE BECAUSE HE LACKED WITHIN HIMSELF. I ALMOST FELL FOR IT BUT THE SIGNS WERE IN MY FACE WHICH I COULD NO LONGER IGNORE. HIS DISRESPECTFUL WAY OF SPEAKING, EMOTIONAL DESPERATION, IGNORANCE AND STUPIDTY, PLAYING GAMES WITH ME ABOUT HIS FEMALE NEIGHBOR BECAUSE HE IS A MALE SEEKING FEMALE ATTENTION LIKE A CHILD SEEKS LOVE FROM HIS MOTHER. AFTER LISTENING TO HIS PAST OF DRUG PROBLEMS AND HEARING HIS PATHETIC BEHAVIOR IN PLAYING THE VICTIM FROM A 20 YEAR OLD POST RELATIONSHIP HE REFUSED TO GET OVER AND MOVE ON FROM HIS DRUG ADDICTED EX-GF. I WAS READY TO KILL THIS MOTHER FUCKER, BUT INSTEAD I ATTACKED HIM BACK, CUT HIM LOOSE AND WALKED AWAY.

BEING A BLACK WITCH MY ENERGY WAS A BURNING INFERNAL OF HATE TOWARDS THIS PIECE OF SHIT. MONTHS LATER THIS LOSER CAME BACK TO KISS MY ASS WITH A LOUSEY APOLOGY BECAUSE HE WAS HAVING ONE PROBLEM AFTER ANOTHER IN HIS LIFE AND BELIEVED I HAD CURSED HIM. I DIDN'T BUT I SHOULD. THIS SCUMBAG WAS A HORRIBLE REPEAT OF WHAT I PREVIOUSLY WENT THROUGH IN THE LAST TEN YEARS OF MY LIFE WITH SOMEONE ELSE I LOST IN DEATH. AFTER TODD DIED I WAS VULNERABLE WHICH IS NORMAL AND NEEDED TIME TO HEAL, MY DEFENSES WERE DOWN AND I COULDN'T SEE STRAIGHT. AFTER NUMEROUS SIGNS OF NEGATIVE POTIENTAL OF LISTENING TO THIS PATHETIC LOSER AND HIS BULLSHIT IS WHEN I TURNED OUTWARD AND SHOWED MY RAGE. I WOULD NOT ALLOW MYSELF TO GO DOWN THAT FUCKEN RABBIT HOLE AGAIN SO THEREFORE POSITIVE POTIENTAL DID NOT EXIST IN A RELATIONSHIP BUILT ON ILLUSION. LIKE THE HATTER TIME IS PRECIOUS AND I TOO AM A PRISONER OF TIME BECAUSE I AM GROWING OLDER AND I WILL NOT ALLOW SOME MOTHER FUCKER WITH A PAST OF DRUG PROBLEMS WHO WHINES LIKE A BITCH OF HOW HE NEEDS LOVE TO WASTE MY TIME! HE HAD NO FUCKEN JOB AND NO MONEY, NO AMBITION AND NO CONFIDENCE. I WONT BE DRAGGED DOWN INTO HIS SHIT WHILE HOLDING HIS HAND LIKE A CHILD BECAUSE HE LACKS SELF WORTH AND REFUSING TO GROW UP AND BE A MAN. I TOLD HIM TO FUCK OFF AND GROW THE FUCK UP. IF I EVER SEE HIM AGAIN I WILL PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE SO HE NEVER FORGETS ME. THESE TWO OF CUPS HAVE NO POTIENTAL OF SHARING TEA, TIME OR ANYTHING ELSE. I THANK THE MAD HATTER MY EYES ARE WIDE OPEN! SOMETIMES THOSE INSULTS FROM A DEGRADING LOSER SHOWS US WHAT WE NEED TO SEE TO GROW AND WHAT YOU DON'T NEED IN YOUR LIFE. PEOPLE WILL LIE AND MAKE EXCUSES FOR THEIR OWN PAST AND BEHAVIOR WHEN DESPERATELY SEEKING ATTENTION. WHEN YOU SMELL DESPERATION RUN THE OTHER DIRECTION NOTHING HEALTHY WILL EVER COME FROM IT.

EIGHT OF CUPS CARD - CALIFORNIA WILL SOON HAVE THE BIGGEST 10 POINT PLUS EARTHQUAKE AND WHEN IT DOES I WON'T BE HERE. I HAVE IT IN MIND TO LEAVE BECAUSE THIS STATE AND LIVING IN THE CITY HAS BECOME TOXIC. PEOPLE ARE IGNORANT ASSUMING THE WORLD IS OVER POULATED, ACTUALLY ITS NOT, ITS THE CITIES THAT ARE BECAUSE PEOPLE REFUSE TO SPREAD OUT AND LIVE ON THE LAND. PEOPLE ARE LAZY AND DOCILE THEY DON'T WANT TO WORK HARD ON THE LAND OR FIGHT FOR FREEDOM. THEY WANT MODERN CONVIENCES AND LIVE A QUITE LIFE. HOWEVER, THOSE MODERN CONVIENCES COME WITH A PRICE AND ITS NOT WORTH IT. THIS LIFE WE LIVE IN SOCIETY IS A LIE AND STRUCTURED TO SERVE ONE GROUP OF PEOPLE AND THOSE CRIMINALS HAVE RUINED LIFE FOR THE REST OF US WITH GREED, HUMAN ABUSE AND MURDERS AND BECAUSE OF THIS TORMENT WE LIVE IN IS WHY NATURAL DISASTERS ARE OCCURING AND WIPING OUT THE HUMAN RACE. THE WORLDS SOUL IS UNBALANCED BECAUSE OF MANS GREED AND KILLING OF THE LAND AND PEOPLE. IT WON'T BE TOLERATED ANY LONGER AND THE GODS ARE RETURNING TO TAKE BACK WHAT HAS BEEN GIVEN TO US. YES EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED IT'S MY PERCEPTION OF SOCIETY AND ITS GREED AND ABUSE. THE RACES OF MAN ARE FILLED WITH HATE AND CRIMES AGAINST EACH OTHER AND USING PRISON AS SLAVERY OF THE WORST KIND. I NO LONGER NEED TO BE A PART OF ANY OF IT. WHAT FOR? LIES, BETRAYAL, PEOPLE CHEATING IN MARRIAGES, WOMEN ARE WHORES MARRY FOR MONEY. THERE IS NO LOVE, PEOPLE DON'T KNOW HOW TO LOVE OR LOVE THEMSELVES. I WANT OUT, THIS WAY OF LIFE DOESN'T SUIT ME AND IN AMERICA TO MANY KOREAN AND PAKISTAN IMMIGRANTS ARE TAKING OVER. AS THEY HAVE BEEN FOR YEARS AND ITS GETTING WORSE. LIKE ALICE HER JOURNEY IS NOT COMPLETE SHE DOESN'T KNOW EXACTLY WHICH DIRECTION TO GO, ALICE JUST KNOWS EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED AND SHE NEEDS TO CHANGE WITH IT. HER LIFE YESTERDAY IS NO LONGER THE SAME AS IT IS TODAY. LIKE ALICE LIVING IN THE QUEENS KINGDOM OF CHAOS. I TOO AM FILLED WITH DISCONTENT LIVING IN A TOXIC ENVIROMENT WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE MAD, MORE THAN THE MAD HATTER. THERE IS NO STABILITY, NO UNDERSTANDING, NO COMPASSION AND PEOPLE ARE NOT FRIENDS, ITS ALL PRETENSE. ALICE IN THE STORY SHOWS SOME RESITANCE BECAUSE OF THE UNKNOWN BUT WHETHER I HAVE THE MEANS OR NOT I NEED TO GET OUT AND FIND MY WAY. AS THIS CROOKED PATH NO LONGER SUITS ME IS THE MESSAGE WHEN THINGS ARE NO LONGER WORKING OR NO GOOD, ITS TIME FOR CHANGE AND TO MOVE FORWARD. A NEW PATH IS AHEAD OF ME ALTHOUGH I MAY NOT KNOW WHERE IT LEADS I WILL FIND MY PLACE AS LIFE IS A JOURNEY NOT A DESTINATION.

TEN OF SWORDS CARD - HUMPTY DUMPTY HAD GREAT PRIDE WHICH CAUSED HIS DOWNFALL TO BREAK AND HE DEPENDED ON THOSE AROUND HIM TO PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE AGAIN. BUT AS THE STORY GOES ALL THE KINGS HORSES AND ALL THE KINGS MEN COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY IN HIS PLACE AGAIN, OR WE COULD SAY "THE KINGS MEN CAN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN". THIS IS A CLEARER PERSPECTIVE OF THE REALITY OF PROBABILITY OF AN EGG BREAKING WHEN IT FALLS FROM HEIGHT. I COMPARE HUMPTY'S FALL WITH MY OWN FALLING DOWN, AND LOSING SIGHT OF MY PATH DUE TO THE STRESS AND ANXIETY THAT BLINDED ME FROM STRUGGLING TO SURVIVE IN A WORLD THAT SERVES ONE GROUP OF PEOPLE. FALLING DOWN WAS THE MOST PAINFUL OF SITUATIONS I EVER DEALTH WITH AND NONE OF IT IS FUNNY. AFTER COLLEGE I FOUND MYSELF WITH NO WHERE TO GO, NO JOB AND NO MONEY. I HAD NO SECURITY AND I NEVER REMARRIED LIKE MOST WOMEN DO TO SURVIVE. I STAYED ON MY OWN AND RAISED A FAMILY ALONE, BUT I NEVER REALIZED I HAD NO SECURITY AT ALL. I NEVER STOPPED TO THINK ABOUT IT. I WASN'T ON DRUGS OR BOOZE I WAS SOBER AND OVER 40 WITH NOTHING. AFTER YEARS OF WORKING JOBS THAT GAVE NOTHING IN RETURN THIS IS WHAT I LEARNED THE REALIZATION AND CORRUPTION OF THIS SOCIETY HAS OPENED MY EYES TO KNOWING OF THE ABUSE, FINANCIAL CORRUPTION AND BETRAYAL OF THE HUMAN RACE. THE LIES THAT ARE TOLD IS TO HIDE THE BLACK TRUTH OF MANS EVIL AND IT COMES IN VARIOUS FORMS OF RACISM, OPPRESSION, SEXISM AND DISCRIMIANTION AND IT IMPACTS ALL OF US AROUND THE WORLD, EXCEPT THE CROOKED POLITICIANS.

IF YOU TAKE AWAY BILL GATES MONEY AND THROW HIM ON THE STREET HE WOULD BE HUMPTY DUMPTY, BROKEN AND WITH NOTHING. IF YOU TAKE AWAY ALL OF TRUMPS FATHERS MONEY HE INHERITED AND STRIP HIS SHIT KIDS OF EVERYTHING THEY HAVE, ITS THE SAME THING, BROKEN AND NOTHING. THE REASON THESE TWO CHILD MOLESTERS AND MURDERERS HAVE FINANCIAL SECURITY IS BECAUSE THE WHITE RACE BENEFITS FROM SOCIETY AND PEOPLE OF COLOR ARE OPPRESSED AND HAVE LESS OPPORTUNITY BECAUSE OF THE DISPARITIES COVERED IN A POISONOUS ESSENCES WHICH I SPOKE OF IN ANOTHER POST. REMEMBER BOTH OF THESE SCUMBAGS COME FROM MONEY. THEY NEVER STRUGGLED OR WORKED FOR ANYTHING AND AT THE SAME TIME DESTROYED ALL THAT IS IN THEIR PATH. I CAN STILL REMEMBER WHEN I WAS YOUNG IN MY 20'S AFTER I DIVORCED HOW I WOULD GO OUT INTO THE WORKING WORLD APPLYING FOR COUNTY JOBS SOMETHING THAT WOULD GIVE ME A PERMANENT POSITION TO BUILD FROM. ALL I GOT IN RETURN WAS SEXUAL HARRASSMENT, DISCRIMINATION AND ABUSE FROM MALE EMPLOYERS. IT WAS AN ONGOING FIGHT AND I DONT KISS ASS TO ANYONE. YET I WOULD COME ACROSS WHITE GIRLS WITH BLONDE HAIR WORKING FOR AN ATTORNEY AND YOUNG WHITE GIRLS TAKING FRONT END POSITIONS AND REALIZING THESE JOBS ARE BASED ON WHO SUCKS DICK AND LOOKS BETTER. SO WHAT DID I DO? I MADE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE IN MY LIFE AND WORKED FOR THE NEXT 15 YEARS (PRIOR TO COLLEGE) AS ONLINE ESCORT AND THEN IN ADULT FILM (WHICH WAS A LARGER MISTAKE). AFTER THOSE 15 YEARS AND GETTING OLD AND SICK OF DEALING WITH SHIT PEOPLE IS WHEN I WENT BACK TO COLLEGE AND AGAIN I MADE DESCIONS THAT TOOK ME DOWN A DIFFERENT PATH AFTER I GRADUATED. I WAS HUMPTY DUMPTY AND FELL FROM THE WALL. ITS EASY TO MAKE THE WRONG DECSIONS FALL OFF THE WALL, BUT ITS HARD AS FUCK TO CLIMB BACK UP. I DID CLIMB BACK UP AND IT TOOK THE LAST TEN YEARS OF MY LIFE WHEN I WAS WITH TODD TO DO IT. I'M NOT EXACTLY WHERE I WANT TO BE BUT ITS A STEP UP AND I WILL GET THERE, I HAVE TO. THE POINT IS NOT GIVING UP. ALTHOUGH YOU WILL MAKE MISTAKES YOU CAN CORRECT HUMAN ERROR. WHAT YOU LEARN FROM IS THE LESSONS. THE MOST VALUABLE FROM REPEATING MISTAKES AGAIN. THIS IS HOW YOUR SELF WORTH AND VALUE OF BEING HUMAN WILL GROW.

THOSE MISTAKES IMPACTED ME TO GET AHEAD BUT I HAD A FAMILY TO SUPPORT AND I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO. HOWEVER I AM NOT AT FAULT FOR ALL OF THE DISPARTIES IN SOCIETY. I TRIED HARD TO GET BACK ON TRACK WITH MY LIFE AND TO HAVE A CAREER IN MY LATE AGE, BUT THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN. AS ADULTS WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW WE LIVE OUR LIVES. AGE IS NOT SYNONMOUS WITH MENTAL MATURITY AND NOT EVERYONE COPES WELL WITH STRESS AND ANXIETY WHICH I'VE DEALTH WITH MOST OF MY LIFE. FRANKLY EVERYTHING I LEARNED I FELT IT WAS BACKWARD ACCORDING TO SOCIETIES STANDARDS, BUT REALISTICALLY YOUNG WOMEN HAVE BEEN GIVING BIRTH TO CHILDREN FOR DECADES SACRIFICING OUR YOUTH AND OUR DREAMS TO LATER REALIZE OUR VALUE GOES DOWN FAST AS WE AGE. DO NOT SUCCUM TO THESE PRESSURES AND EXPECTATIONS OF SOCIETY, LIVE YOUR DREAMS FIRST!! AFTER HAVING CHILDREN TO YOUNG AND SEEING MY LIFE AS BEING RUINED IT SET ME BACK TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE. I HAD INTENTIONS TO MOVE FORWARD WITH A MASTERS DEGREE AND WORK AS A SOCIAL WORKER. THE UNIVERSITES ARE FILLED WITH ABUSE AND DISCRIMINATION, RACISM IS EXTREMELY HIGH IN THESE INSTITUTIONS AND MY EXPERIENCE WAS NOT POSITIVE AT CSUN. I SUCCEEDED AND RECEIVED MY DEGREE IN WOMENS STUDIES AND CRIMINAL JUSTICE. HOWEVER, COLLEGE DOESN'T MEAN SHIT WHEN LIVING IN A CORRUPT SOCIETY AND ITS CHANGING FOR THE WORST. THEN CAME A GREATER FALL AFTER GOING THROUGH NUMEROUS UNHOUSED PROGRAMS I CAN CONFIRM THIS CORRUPT GOVERNMENT LIES ABOUT MONEY AND ASSISTING UNHOUSED PEOPLE.

NO ONE IS GETTING HELP BECAUSE OF GROSS NEGLIGENCE AND LIES BEING TOLD. PEOPLE ARE TREATED WITH ABUSE AND SERVED ROTTEN FOOD TO EAT AND HAVING TO SLEEP IN SHIT DORMS THAT ARE RUN DOWN WHILE THESE ORGANIZATIONS ARE COLLECTING 30 TO 50 MILLION A YEAR. THE GOVERNMENT AND IT SUBSIDIES NEVER STOP LYING OF THE BILLIONS OF DOLLARS ITS COSTING TO HOUSE PEOPLE. THESE STATEMENTS ARE LIES THEY ARE NOT SPENDING A FUCKEN DIME!! IF THAT WERE TRUE NO ONE WOULD BE ON THE STREET INCLUDING VETERANS. ANOTHER LIE IS CLAIMING ALL PEOPLE ON THE STREET ARE DRUG ADDICTS, NO ACTUALLY NUMEROUS PEOPLE HAVE COLLEGE DEGREES AND OTHER GROUPS OF PEOPLE ARE IMMIGRANTS WHO CAME INTO THE COUNTRY WITH NO JOBS OR BENEFITS AVAILABLE TO THEM. MANY ARE 50 AND OLDER WHO WERE PUSHED OUT FROM THE YOUNGER GENERATION TAKING OVER THEIR JOBS. THERE ARE THOSE WHO DO HAVE ADDICITONS BUT MANY DO NOT. I AM DOING OKAY NOW AND LIVE ALONE BUT I HAD TO FIGHT THIS FUCKED UP GOVERNMENT TO GIVE ME WHAT I PUT INTO THIS FRAUD TAX SYSTEM AFTER TODD DIED FROM ALL THE YEARS I WORKED THOSE SHIT JOBS THAT ARE CALCULATED FROM SOCIAL SECURITY THEY STILL HAVE CHEATED ME ON MONIES OWED TO ME. NOW I AM HAVING TO START OVER AGAIN AT 57 WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE? LIKE HUMPTY DUMPTY I FELL DOWN AND ROSE BACK UP AND GLUED MYSELF BACK TOGETHER AGAIN WITHOUT THE KINGS HELP. ITS ACTION TIME TO BE SELF EMPLOYED AND HAVE A PURPOSE. THE POLITICS CREATED DIVISION TO CONTROL AND SABATOGE THE PEOPLE AND THEN INJECT HATE AND DRUGS AMONG THE RACES SO WE KILL EACH OTHER. MILLIONS OF PEOPLE HAVE BECOME HUMPTY DUMPTY AS IT EASY TO BE BLIND SIDED AND FALL WHEN YOU CAN'T SEE THE TRUTH OF HOW THIS SOCIETY IS SET UP TO WORK AGAINST ALL OF US.

THE EMPEROR CARD - SOME OF THE KEY WORDS IN THIS SEGMENT ARE STABILITY - STRUCTURE - POWER - AUTHORITY - LEADERSHIP - CONTROL - PROTECTION - STEWARDSHIP - ORDER - BOSS - FATHEROOD - AMBITION - REASON - LOGIC - HAVING CONFIDENCE IS IMPORTANT IN EVERYONES LIFE. HOWEVER, IF YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF WHO YOU ARE STUPID GIRL, THEN I CAN'T HELP YOU CAN I? CONSCIOUSNESS IS CRITICAL TO SURVIVAL. ITS IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND THE RESPONSIBILITY THAT IS ATTACHED TO EACH ONE OF THESE AREAS OF LIFE WITHIN EACH WORD. AFTER COVID HIT PEOPLE'S LIVES WERE RUINED AND MANY BUSINESS'S WERE SHUT DOWN. THIS IS DONE WITH INTENT BECAUSE THE ELIES WANT TO RUIN LIVES AND HAVE COMPLETE CONTROL OVER WHO IS LEFT IN EVERY ASPECT OF HUMAN LIFE AFTER MILLIONS HAVE DIED. FOR THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE LEFT AND MUST BEGIN AGAIN MIGHT RESIST CHANGES THAT OCCUR WITHIN A HOSTILE TAKE OVER THAT WILL HAPPEN IF PEOPLE CHOOSE NOT TO FIGHT FOR FREEDOM. I SEE ONLY TWO OPTIONS OF SURVIVAL TO REBUILDING A LIFE OUTSIDE OF THE CONTROLLED 15 MINUTE CITIES BEING DEVELOPED. IF YOU VIEW EACH WORD AND ITS MEANING HOW DOES IT PLAY INTO TO YOUR LIFE NOW? WHY I ASK IS BECAUSE IF YOU HAVE NO PAPER CURRENCY TO LIVE ON, WILL YOU SURVIVE OUTSIDE OF SOCIETAL NORMS KNOWING YOU POSSESS EACH ONE OF THESE AREAS? AND CONSIDERING THE ECONOMIC STRUCTURE I SEE TWO OPTIONS OF SURVIVAL 1) BEGIN TO LEARN HOW TO SURVIVE WITHOUT PAPER CURRENCY AND YOU WOULD NEED TO LIVE ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF SOCIETY IN THE WOODS AND HUNT YOUR OWN FOOD. 2) THOSE WHO RESIST THE CONTROLLED ENVIROMENT OF THE INNER CITIES COME TOGETHER AS A COLLECTIVE AND RE-BUILD YOUR OWN COMMUNITES OUTSIDE OF SOCIETAL NORMS. THE EMPEROR IN THE CARD KNOWS HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO PAY ATTENTION TO RESOURCES AND THINK OF FUTURE NEEDS AND PLAN ACCORDINGLY. ITS IMPORTANT TO BE YOUR OWN EMPEROR WHETHER YOU STAND ALONE OR ARE A PART OF THE COLLECTIVE. WHETHER YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH ANY PARTICULAR CULTURE WITHIN THAT COLLECTIVE THE IMPORTANCE IS THE RESPONSIBILITY IN CREATING THAT CULTURE FOR SURVIVAL.

IVE COME TO UNDERSTAND A FEW THINGS SUCH AS POWER DOESN'T COME FROM ASKING, IT COMES FROM TAKING - STRUCTURE IS A PLAN OF WHAT YOU TAKE FOR WHAT YOU NEED TO HAPPEN - AUTHORITY, LEADERSHIP AND CONTROL HAS NO ROOM FOR EMOTIONS OR SENTIMENT YOU MUST BE CONFIDENT AND HAVE ALLIES FOR PROTECTION. THE REST WILL FALL INTO PLACE. PEOPLE DON'T GAIN ANY OF THIS FROM MONEY, ITS AWARENESS FROM CHANGE THAT COULD OCCUR. FOR EXAMPLE IF I WORK ALL SPRING TO BRING IN THE CROPS OF FOOD BECAUSE I HAVE A STRUCTURE SET IN MOTION TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN THEN I KNOW I CAN SURIVIVE THROUGH THE HARD WINTERS. USE THIS AS AN EXAMPLE TO APPLY IN ALL AREAS OF LIFE BECAUSE IF YOUR LIFE CHANGES FOR THE WORST AND YOU HAVE A STRUCTURE SET UP TO FALL BACK ON, YOU WILL SURIVIVE THOSE HARD WINTERS WHEN THE ELITES STRIP AWAY FROM US TO HAVE NOTHING!! WHEN THIS HAPPENS THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLE WILL BE OSTRICIZED FROM SOCIETY. ALICE BEING A CHILD COULD NOT SEE ANY OF THIS BEING ON HER JOURNEY BUT LEARNING IT EARLY ON WILL HELP REDUCE CONFLICT AND STRESS IN LIFE ESPECIALLY KNOWING YOU CAN'T COUNT ON OTHER PEOPLE TO HELP BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE WON'T. LET ME USE MYSELF AS AN EXAMPLE ALTHOUGH I STILL DEPEND ON MARKETS TO BUY FOOD I CAN'T AFFORD MOST ITEMS ESPECIALLY RED MEAT. HOWEVER BEING OLDER MY BODY CAN ONLY CONSUME SO MUCH SO I'VE LEARNED TO TRAIN MYSELF TO EAT LESS THAN A 100O CALOREIS A DAY AND SPEND LESS THAN 150 PER MONTH ON FOOD. IT WORKS JUST FINE AND NOW I AM TEACHING MYSELF TO MAKE THINGS INSTEAD OF BUYING THEM SUCH AS SOAP, TOOTHPASTE THE MORE I LEARN HOW TO MAKE THINGS AND NOT DEPEND ON OUTSIDE SOURCES. THE MORE I BECOME THAT LEADER WITH POWER AND STRUCTURE CONTROL AND MY OWN BOSS. AS A NATION OF PEOPLE WE HAVE TO BECOME INDEPENDENT INSTEAD OF CO-DEPENENT OF GOODS AND SERVICES (ESPECIALLY NOW WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO CHINA AND THE TARRIF SITUATION). IT'S DONE WITH INTENT, TO TAKE FROM US AND ONLY THE RICH WILL BE ALLOWED TO BUY GOODS. ITS VITAL TO MOVE AWAY FROM THE CO-DEPENDANCY BECAUSE ONE DAY THESE STORES MAY NOT EXIST AND SOCIETY COULD REVERT BACK TO CAVE MAN LIVING. THIS IS THE SAME CONCEPT OF BEING A MINIMALIST BUT WORKING TOWARDS LEARNING TO TRAIN YOUR MIND TO LIVE WITHOUT PAPER CURRENCY.

TWO OF WANDS CARD - WHEN THE TWO OF WANDS ALIGN WITH EACH OTHER AS YOU SEE HERE IN THE CARD ALICE STANDS BETWEEN THEM IT MAY INDICATE THAT ALICE HAS TWO CHOICES TO MAKE OR SHE IS STANDING PERFECTLY POISED TO MAKE THE RIGHT DECSIONS. LIKE ALICE NO ONE WANTS TO MAKE A MISTAKE. ITS IN OUR NATURE TO MAKE THE BEST DECSION WHEN NOT SEEKING TO SOMEONE ESLE FOR APPROVAL. WHEN FACING A DECSION ABOUT WHAT TO DO AND WHERE TO EMPLOY YOUR ENERGY HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF YOU WILL MAKE THE RIGHT DECSION. INTUITION CAN SOMETIMES BE MISTAKEN FOR THE FIRST THOUGHT THAT COMES TO MIND. ITS NOT, SOMETIMES ITS JUST BEING IMPULSIVE. INTUITION OCCURS WHEN YOUR DESIRE AND INTENT ARE IN PERFECT HARMONY WITH THE UNIVERSE YOU WILL FEEL THE PULL IN YOUR GUT AND MIND. YOU ARE IN THAT SPACE OR ABLE TO GET THERE BY QUESTIONING YOUR MOTIVES. CLEAR AWAY THE DEBRIS OF EXPECTATIONS OR OF CONCERNS FOR THE OPINIONS OF OTHERS AND YOU WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO. WHEN I WAS A YOUNG MOTHER I WAS FACED WITH MANY DECSIONS THAT WERE HARD TO MAKE BUT EDUCATING MYSELF EMPOWERED ME. I AM NOT REFERRING TO COLLEGE BECAUSE YOU CAN EDUCATE YOURSELF JUST READING AND BEING A CRITICAL THINKER WHICH INTURN WILL GIVE YOU A VOICE. AS I DID THIS IT HELPED ME TO REALIZE HOW HISTORY CAN REPEAT ITSELF IN FAMILIES AND WITH THAT PARENTS WILL MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES THEIR PARENTS MADE AND NO ONE LEARNS ANYTHING FROM THAT. FOR EXAMPLE I DIDN'T FORGET HOW MY PARENTS BELIEVED TEACHERS WHEN THEY COMPLAINED ABOUT ME. NEVER ONCE WAS I ASKED WHAT HAPPENED? ALSO MY PARENTS CHOSE TO BELIEVE THOSE TEACHERS AND LACKED CONFIDENCE IN ME TO DISCUSS THE PROBLEM AND TO SUPPORT THE PROCESS. INSTEAD THEY BELITTLED AND CRITICIZED ME WHICH LEAD ME TO THINK I COULDN'T TRUST GOING TO THEM WITH ANY PROBLEM. I WORKED AT TRYING HARD NOT TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE WITH MY OWN CHILDREN AND MANY TIMES I CAUGHT THE TEACHERS IN LIES. WRONG OR RIGHT I SUPPORTED MY KIDS THE BEST I COULD BUT THEY STILL DIDN'T COME TO ME WITH THEIR PROBLEMS. I WAS A PARENT WHO FAILED AS EVERY PARENT WILL, BUT I REALIZED MANY OF THE MISTAKES MY PARENTS MADE I CHOOSE NOT TO REPEAT HISTORY AND IT DID MAKE A DIFFERENCE. LIKE ALICE I MADE THE RIGHT DECSION.

THE WORLD CARD - THE WORLD IS A CONFUSING PLACE OF CHAOS AND LACK OF EMPATHY FOR THE HUMAN RACE, BUT FOR ALICE SHE HAS FACED ISSUES OF IDENTITY AS MUCH AS THE IDEAS OF CHILDHOOD VS ADULTHOOD, REASON VS INSANITY, CRUELTY VS KINDNESS, CURIOSITY VS FEAR, LANGUAGE VS COMMUNICATION, FREEDOM VS CONFINEMENT, JUSTICE VS MERCY AND REALITY VS DREAMS. IF I PLACE MY FEET IN ALICES SHOES AND WALK ON HER PATH I TOO HAVE EXPERIENCED MUCH OF THE SAME ISSUES BUT WHEN YOUR A CHILD YOU CAN'T RECOGNIZE THESE AREAS OF LIFE, YOU WON'T KNOW OF THEM, UNTIL YOU EXPERIENCE THEM AND IT CAN TURN INTO TRAUMA. THERE IS NO ONE TO EXPLAIN THEM TO UNDERSTAND THEIR MEANING AS WE GROW INTO ADOLESCENSE AND ADULTHOOD SO IT CAN'T BE UNDERSTOOD HOW THESE AREAS OF LIFE WILL IMPACT OUR LIVES. IT MAYBE THE REASON MANY OF US ARE CONFUSED AS ADULTS BECAUSE OUR IDENTITY AS NOT BEEN DISCOVERED AND NO ONE EXPLAINS THINGS WHILE GROWING UP. IT IS WITH HARSH UNEXCUSABLE LESSONS OF CRUELTY TO CHILDREN AND ADULTS WE QUICKLY BEGIN TO REALIZE THE DIFFERENCES. FOR EXAMPLE LANGUAGE VS COMMUNICATION - I CAN RECALL A CONVERSATION WITH A MAN WHO WORKED FOR LOS ANGELES HOUSING AND YET HE HAD NO UNDERSTANDING TO THE WORD - "RESIDENCY" AND WHAT IT MEANT WHEN I USED IT IN OUR CONVERSATION. I WAS SURPRISED. FAST FORWARD NOW I AM IN CLASS AT CSUN AND THE WORD "METHODOLOGY" CAME UP AND I ASKED GARZA (TEACHER) WHAT IT MEANT? BECAUSE I NEVER HEARD IT BEFORE OR USED THE WORD IN CONVERSATION. SHE HAD A SHIT ATTITUDE WITH ME AND REFUSED TO TELL ME THE MEANING BUT CRITICIZED ME IN CLASS. I NEVER HEARD OF THE WORD UNTIL THEN NOR DID I EVER USE IT, BUT I DO NOW.

JUST AS THE MAN NEVER HEARD OR USED THE WORD "RESIDENCY" ALTHOUGH HE WORKED FOR THE HOUSING DEPT. IT IMPLIES A STRONG MESSAGE "LACK OF VOCABULARY AND COMMUNOCATION". IF PEOPLE CHOOSE NOT TO EXPAND THEIR WAY OF SPEAKING (VOCABULARY) IN EVERYDAY LANGUAGE CERTAIN WORDS WILL NEVER BE USED. CERTAIN PHRASES WILL NEVER BE EXPLAINED OR SPOKEN OF. BE MINDFUL OF SOMETHING, NUMEROUS PEOPLE FROM DIFFERENT REGIONS EITHER CHOOSE NOT TO BE UNDERSTOOD OR THEY FEAR TO UNDERSTAND. I ONLY KNOW AND SPEAK ONE LANGUAGE "ENGLISH" BECAUSE I WAS WHITE WASHED AND STRIPPED FROM MY NATIVE CULTURE. IF PEOPLE WANT TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER THEY WILL REGARDLESS OF CULTURE AND REGION. YET ITS NOT JUST CULTURE WHEN LIVING IN THE CITY, ITS A LACK OF EDUCATION AND COMMUNICATION AND PEOPLE NOT LISTENING TO ONE ANOTHER. I SHOULD KNOW SPANISH BUT I DON'T. YET WHEN I HAVE SPOKEN TO PEOPLE ASKING A QUESTION I'VE BUSTED THEM LYING TO ME THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND ENGLISH WHEN THEY DID AND WOULD ONLY SPEAK IN SPANISH. THAT BEHAVIOR IS IGNORANCE AND STUPIDTY NO MATTER WHAT RACE YOU ARE. THE GOVERNMENT SETS US UP WITHIN A DESIGNED SYSTEM TO WORK AND SUPPORT THEIR WAY OF LIFE SO THEY CAN STAY ON TOP AND KEEP ALL THE MONEY. AND BECAUSE OF THIS IT PRESSURES PEOPLE TO WORK ANY SHIT JOB AND NOT GIVE US THE TIME TO GROW AND RECOGNIZE OUR IDENTITY OF WHO WE ARE OR WHO WE WANT TO BE, WHAT WE WANT FROM LIFE. AS A HUMAN RACE WE ARE QUICKLY SUBJECTED TO THE HORRORS OF SOCIETY AND THE CHURCH PUSHING THEIR IDEOLOGIES ON US TO BE CONTROLLED AS IF THERE IS NO OTHER OPTIONS. NOT ALLOWING US TO REACH OUR FULL POTIENTAL. AND FOR THAT WE ARE NOT TO QUESTION THEM, JUST DO WHAT IS EXPECTED. I DO NOT AGREE WITH THIS CONTROL OVER MY MIND AND HUMAN SELF. REMEMBER YOU MAKE THE PATH JUST LIKE ALICE AND ITS YOUR DREAM. JUST KNOW WHEN YOU WALK OUT THE DOOR, YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN SO BE SMART AND CAREFUL AS SOCIETY IS A CRUEL, UGLY AND UNFORGIVING PLACE.

CHILDHOOD VS ADULTHOOD - NOTHING IS MORE DIFFCULT WHEN GROWING UP AND SEEING YOUR PARENTS ON DIFFERENT LEVELS OF MATURITY. ITS VERY CONFUSING TO ANY KID. MY PARENTS WERE NOT RELIGIOUS OR TRADITIONAL PEOPLE BUT NO ONE EVER SPOKE ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY AND YET IT WAS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL. MY FATHERS BROTHER WHO WAS A FAG AND MY FATHER HATED HIM - AND NO ONE EVER TALKED TO ME ABOUT SEXUAL PREDATORS BUT YOUNG GUYS OVER 20 HUNG AROUND THE HIGH SCHOOL TRYING TO PICK UP UNDERAGE GIRLS. THE TIME I WAS NEARLY ABDUCTED FROM AN OLD WHITE GUY IN HIS PICK UP TRUCK WAITING ON COLIMA RD AS HE PERSISTED HIS PURSUIT I RAN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION ALL THE WAY HOME. TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT THESE THINGS IS VITAL SO THEY CAN LEARN HOW TO REPORT PREDATORS. AFTER ANSWERING A NEWSPAPER AD I LEARNED OF PRISON INMATES THE HARD WAY WHEN MY FATHER FOUND OUT THAT I RESPONDED TO THIS PERSON. HE EMBARRASSED ME WITH HIS HARSH WORDS ABOUT WRITING AND RECIEIVING LETTERS FROM A MAN IN PRISON WHICH I DIDN'T KNOW. I WAS A WILD KID BACK THEN. I WAS ONLY 15 AND MY FATHER WORKED FOR CORRECTIONS. HE WAS PISSED BUT NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY? SOMETIMES EMBARRSSMENT IS THE LESSON BUT MY FATHER HAD MY BACK AND FOR THAT I AM GRATEFUL.

REASON VS INSANITY - I FELT AS IF I WAS GOING NUTS WHEN MY MIND AND BODY WAS GOING THROUGH THE MID - LIFE CHANGE WHICH OCCURS BETWEEN THE AGES OF 25 UP UNTIL YOU ARE 40 THEN YOU WILL CHANGE AGAIN BUT THAT SECOND TIME WILL BE DIFFERENT. MID LIFE CHANGE IS ABOUT IDENTITY THE ROOT OF IT. NO ONE EXPLAINS THIS AND YOU WILL FEEL DEPRESSED AND ANGRY A VARIETY OF FUCKED UP EMOTIONS. YOU SEEK TO UNDERSTAND REASON BUT ITS TOO CLOUDY BECAUSE YOUR EMOTIONS ARE HEAVY. "THIS IS ABSOLEM QUOTE TO ALICE (CATEPILLAR). "I CAN'T HELP YOU IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE, STUPID GIRL." ABSOLEM SAYS THIS BECAUSE HE IS TRYING TO GET ALICE TO REALIZE SHE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND HER OWN IDENTITY WHICH IS A LIFE TIME OF GROWING. REMEMBER ITS THE BUTTERFLY STRUGGLING TO BREAK FREE FORM ITS CACOON. WHEN YOU GO THROUGH THIS TRANSFORMATION SO DOES YOUR HUMAN MIND, BODY AND SOUL. UNFORTUNATELY THIS IS NEVER SPOKEN OF DURING TIMES IN A PERSONS LIFE. MOST MARRIAGES WILL FALL APART, PEOPLE WILL BREAK UP AND SOME PEOPLE COMMIT CRIMES DURING THESE STAGES OF LIFE OR COMMIT SUICIDE. THESE ARE JUST A COUPLE OF THE AREAS AND STRUGGLES I HAVE GONE THROUGH, WHICH TOOK A HEAVY TOLL BUT I REALIZED BEFORE I TURNED 40 "THIS IS ABOUT TRANSFORMATION AND KNOWING WHO I AM"! I BEGAN TO SEE MYSELF. ITS NOT EASY LIVING IN THIS LIFE AND I AM FIGHTER BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE UP. YOU SHOULDN'T EITHER LOOK TO YOUR HIGHER SELF AND LOOK WITHIN, LOVE YOUR SELF FIRST BECAUSE IF DON'T YOU CAN'T LOVE ANOTHER. MIDDLE LIFE CHANGE IS TRANSFORMATION AND EVENTUALLY YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT BUT YOU MUST SEE BEYOND YOUR LIMITED VISION OF YOURSELF TO RECOGNIZE WHO YOU ARE. NEVER ALLOW SOCIETY TO CLOUD YOUR REALITY WITH THE BULLSHIT AND LIES THAT ARE TOLD AND THERE ARE MANY, STOP AND LOOK AROUND TAKE THE TIME TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE, LIKE ALICE ITS YOUR PATH, YOUR DREAM, LIVE IT WELL.

REALITY VS DREAMS - I ASKED MY FATHER ONCE IF HE EVER HAD DREAMS? HE QUICKLY RESPONDED NO. AFTER UNDERSTANDING HIS UPBRINGING I CAN SEE WHY? MY FATHERS ONLY OPTION WAS THE MILITARY WHICH DAMAGED HIS LIFE BEING IN VEITNAM. ALL I EVER DREAMED OF WAS TO WRITE MUSIC, PLAY THE DRUMS AND BE IN A ROCK BAND, LIKE JOURNEY OR AEROSMITH AND SING MUSIC LIKE THE HEART SISTERS. LITTLE DID I KNOW I LIVED 45 MINUTES FROM HOLLYWOOD THAT IS HOW NAIVE AND IGNORANT I WAS TO THE WORLD I LIVED IN. YOU CAN'T BLAME PARENTS FOR WHAT THEY DON'T KNOW OR CAN'T UNDERSTAND. THEIR OWN PARENTS WERE THE ONLY INFLUENCE AND WEREN'T TAUGHT LESS THAN US AND THEY TO HAD NO ONE TO TALK OR PROVIDE SUPPORT TO LIVING THEIR DREAMS. HOW CAN YOU READ A BOOK TO A CHILD IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ITS CONTENTS? MY REALTY OF BEING A PARENT AT 22 WITH THREE KIDS AND I HAD NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK I WAS DOING. I WAS SCARED BUT I NEVER STOPPED TO THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH? THIS WAS MY REALITY AND NOW I HAD TO SURVIVE IN A WORLD OF CHAOS AND RAISING A FAMILY ALONE. MY DREAMS WERE SEVERED, THOSE DREAMS WERE GONE. YOUNG GIRLS SACRIFICE THEIR DREAMS FAST WITH BAD RELATIONSHIPS AND PREGNANCY. THIS IS MY REASON FOR SUPPORTING ABORTION AND SUPPORTING YOUNG WOMEN NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN BUT TO LIVE THOSE DREAMS FIRST. TAKE THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED. YOUR ONLY YOUNG ONCE AND IF YOU GROW UP IN AN AREA THAT IS LIMITED (WHICH MOST AREAS ARE) FIND A WAY OUT TO HAVE A BETTER QUALITY OF LIFE, BUT ALWAYS PUT YOURSELF FIRST. YOU WANT TO LIVE THOSE DREAMS AND MAKE YOUR OWN PLACE IN THIS WORLD LIKE ALICE, SELF IDENTITY IS CRUCIAL TO THE STEPS YOU TAKE ON YOUR JOURNEY. YOU WILL THEN HAVE COURAGE TO FIND YOUR WAY AND WALK THE PATH AND HOW TO GET THERE WITHOUT SELLING YOURSELF TO THE DEVIL BECAUSE NOTHING COMES EASY OR FREE IN THIS LIFE. PROTECT YOURSELF BECAUSE HE WON'T!!

SEVEN OF CUPS - ALICE HAS A GOAL TO GET INTO THE GARDEN SHE COMES ACROSS A CABINET OF CURIOSITES WITH IMAGES ON EACH DOOR OF THE CABINET HINTING OF WHAT COULD BE INSIDE THIS IS WHAT ATTRACTS HUMANS - VISUAL IMAGES BUT REMEMBER NOTHING IS AS IT APPEARS TO BE. HERE IS A KEY TO OPEN THE DOOR, BUT ALICE HAS ONLY ONE OPTION AND MUST CHOOSE CAREFULLY. WHEN MAKING CHOICES IN OUR LIFE REMEMBER THERE ARE DIFFERENT WAYS TO CHOOSE AND DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE PROCESS: GATHERING DATA, WEIGHING PROS AND CONS MEASURING POSSIBILITES AGAINST OUR VALUES AND OTHER OPTIONS. ANOTHER PART OF THE PROCESS IS IMAGINE ALL POTIENTAL OUTCOMES. THIS IS A GREAT GIFT (OR SOMETIMES NOT) OF BEING HUMAN WITH THE ABILITY TO PROJECT THE FUTURE. SO THINK BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO HAVE SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME WHAT COULD HAPPEN - YOU CAN CATCH A DISEASE - YOU CAN GET PREGNANT - OR LATER BE EMOTIONALLY REJECTED. ALL OF THIS WILL LEAD TO NOWHERE BUT PAIN. YOU HAVE MANY OPTIONS IN LIFE AND ONLY ONE KEY OPENS THE DOOR TO YOUR DREAMS CONSIDER ALL THE POSSIBILITES OF WHAT THOSE DREAMS COULD BRING GOOD AND BAD BUT WITH EXPERIENCE OF LIVING THEM. FALLING INTO THE TRAPS OF SOCIETY AND ITS STIGMAS IS PRESSURE AND THEN WILL BECOME THE BURDEN YOU DON'T WANT. LEARNING IS A HARD PROCESS BUT REMEMBER THE DIFFERENT CHOICES YOU CAN WEIGH OUT TO KNOWING WHAT IS GOOD FOR YOU AND WHAT IS NOT. THE SAME RULES APPLY WHEN INVESTING YOUR TIME AND ENERGY IN PEOPLE AND ANYTHING ELSE IN LIFE. IF SOMEONE WOULD HAVE EXPLAINED THIS TO ME WHEN I WAS YOUNG I WOULD HAVE LIVED MY DREAMS AT THE VERY LEAST NOT MADE SO MANY HORRIFIC MISTAKES AT THE COST OF NOT LIVING MY DREAMS.